“The Season’s Over!” – Me

Over-reaction Tuesday! My least favorite day of the baseball year!

I really don’t like over-reaction Tuesday because everyone’s fan base is either devastated or so overly confident that I want to smack them in the face. Really. There’s very little grey area in terms of over-reaction, err, reactions.

So, let’s get MY over-reactions out of the way, because everyone has them and I am not immune – don’t judge me!

1) ZACK GREINKE GAVE UP MANY HOME RUNS SO THE SEASON IS OVER

Here was my thought process last night watching the D-Backs game:

  • #GreinkeDay is in full-force! D-BACKS 4EVA
  • Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn Zack! Killin’ it in the first inning! This season is gonna be fiiiire.
  • GREINKE RBI! WE ARE GOING TO GO 162-0 THIS YEAR.
  • Greinke gave up a homer. Oh God. It’s happening again. The D-backs are destroying yet another free agent. Oh God. Oh God. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no.
  • Greinke gave up a double. OH GOD OH GOD.
  • Greinke gave up a second homer. THE SEASON IS OVER AND WE GOING TO GO 0-162 AND BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE LEAGUE. WHY DOES GOD HATE THE D-BACKS SO MUCH?!
  • Greinke gives up a third homer. *Throws laptop across the room and focuses solely on the NCAA Men’s Championship game. Proceeds to cry softly into my brand new Greinke shirsey* 

2) The Giants and Dodgers will both somehow win the World Series

I mean, both teams were playing really bad teams (the Brewers and the Padres, respectively) and both teams had their ace on the mound (Bumgarner (AKA “Snot-Rocket”, seeing as he pitched with the flu yesterday) and Kershaw). But the Giants offense rolled over the Brewers, hitting back-to-back-to-back homers and the Dodgers shut out the Padres 15-0. Even though it is not technically possible, I remain convinced that both of them will play in the World Series and both will somehow win.

3) Mother Nature will ruin everything we love

Not only did the Yankees and Astros have to postpone their Opening Day game, but so did the Indians and Red Sox. It was raining and icy in NYC and it was snowing in Cleveland. So, yeah, Mother Nature clearly has it out for these four teams. I fully expect every game to be rained/snowed out, so by default the Yankees, Astros, Red Sox, and Indians will all go 0-162.

4) The Cubs will be amazing

This is something we already knew.

5) The Cardinals will actually suck this year

No, they won’t. They just lost the first game of the season. Get a grip, Hannah. *smacks self in the face*

6) Matt Harvey will digress so badly that he will be released by the Mets, be shunned by almost every other team, and be forced to sign with a dumpster fire team at a rock-bottom price. He will then have a career resurgence, yet he will still be unsatisfied, detailing what could have been in a lengthly Player’s Tribune post.

Okay, maybe not. He didn’t pitch awful against Kansas City on Sunday night, but he was not great, either. Is he still off because of his medical issues this spring, or did he just have an off-night in an environment in which is is difficult to pitch? I would NOT want to pitch in KC anyway, let alone in front of the crowd they had rocking and rolling on Sunday. The World Series banner was raised and the Mets were cruelly reminded of their post-season failure. I guess I would not have pitched well if I was Matt Harvey, either.

7) The Rockies will not be a dumpster fire!

Shut up Hannah, yes they will be. Get it together!

8) By the end of the season, Madison Bumgarner’s jersey will be 90% boogers and 10% horse-riding/wood-chopping sweat.

This is actually plausible. He wiped his nose on his jersey so many times on Monday that I truly believe his sleeve was mostly snot by the end of the game. If he keeps that up this year, he will have a uniquely disgusting jersey for the locker room attendants to deal with.

 

So there are a few of my over-reactions from yesterday. I am still licking my wounds from the D-Backs’ shellacking (at the hands of the Rockies, no less!), but at least I have some Yankees baseball to look forward to today. You know, unless Mother Nature rears her ugly head again. Which she probably will. Because she hates me.

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