What’s a Cub Gotta do to get a Win in this Town?

I feel really, really bad for Chicago Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija.

This year, he has 1.46 ERA in ten starts, a 1.11 WHIP, and 51 strike outs. He has ZERO wins on the season, and it is by no fault of his own. Actually, it has been 16 starts since he had his last win. Can you believe it? But such is life for a Cubbie pitcher, I guess. He is pitching like an All-Star and if he were on any other team, his win/loss record would look much different. 

I would think Samardzija has to be pretty upset right about now. I am sure he loves his team, the city of Chicago, and Wrigley Field, but something has to give, right? How can a team with talents like Anthony Rizzo, Junior Lake, Starlin Castro, and others be so bad? Honestly, there is really no good answer except that it’s because they are the Cubs. 

You see, I have a theory about the Chicago Cubs and why they always suck: They have to. This team has to suck in order to keep the fabric of baseball in tact. If they suddenly become good, I am fairly certain that will signal the end of times (A family friend once sang this during the seventh-inning stretch: “Root, root, root for the Cubbies! If they don’t win, it’s the same…). Players and managers come to the team thinking they can change it, but they can’t. Think of the Cubs as being a “bad boy” and new players like the girlfriend who says “I know I can change him!”. The Cubs, of course, do not resemble a “Bad Boy”; they are more like the kid who gets picked last in P.E. and eats Mayo in excess at lunch. 

So what is a team to do with the likes of Jeff Samardzija? There have been rumors a-plenty that he will be prime trade-bait at the non-waiver deadline in July. The Cubs figure they can get some good prospects in return for the very good pitcher, and they are probably right. There are a large number of teams who need a guy like Samardjiza, and you can bet Samardjiza is secretly hoping someone snatches him up. He can flourish in an environment that actually lets him get a win. The Cubs should let him spread his wings and fly because that is what he deserves. I can just hear Jeff Samardjiza saying, “It’s not you, it’s me. And by that I mean I need to get the f*** out of here”. 

I mean, 16 starts since the last win? That’s preposterous.




Author: shestealssecond

I love baseball more than I love Churro Dogs and I'm cooler than A-Rod wearing Ray Bans.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: